Your Next Hello Could Get You Arrested

The Rules of Service Dog Etiquette

(Part 1 of the Service Dog Savvy Series)

I’m in my favorite big box store shopping for…big boxes, or plastic storage bins. The ‘clearance sale’ ones teeter high above my head, shoehorned together like Russian dolls that a Russian tank could not pry apart. As usual, no clerks are to be found; no customers either in my radar screen. So, I sigh, say a prayer, brace one hand on the back of my patient service dog Raphael, get on tippy-toes and attempt to drag the bins closer to the edge.

That little shove inevitably opens some invisible, automatic door in my magnetic field, and suddenly we are swarmed by customers flying at us from every direction. Some yelp, some moan, some whistle, some coo:

Oh, what a beautiful dog! Can I pet it?

            What kind of dog is that? [pronounced thee-aaaaaat]

            What’s the breed, lady? My cousin breeds them what-d’ya-call-its.

            What’s her name? Can I pet her?

            How old is he? Can I pet him?

            Is she a show dog? How much does it cost to groom her?

Are you a trainer for guide dogs? You don’t look blind!

            What did you pay for a dog like that? Can I pet it?

            Can I pet him?

            What’s he for? You don’t look disabled!           

Can I pet your dog?

            Here, doggie, doggie!

            I know I’m not supposed to, but can I pet him?

            Neglected children, unnoticed in the shadow of Raphael’s blazing spotlight, clamber down from shopping carts and race toward the dog—oh, and what’s-her-name holding his leash.

Poor Raphael is now hopelessly distracted. And I’m in danger of losing my balance, not to mention my temper, as the Ignorant Cavalry bombards us with its fusillade of questions. 

Finally, one fellow in a baseball cap notices Raphael’s vest and “Working Dog, DO NOT PET” badge. He screws up his face in wonder, “He’s a service dog?! OH! Guess I’m not supposed to pet him, huh?” A little girl politely keeping her distance declares, “Mom! You’re not supposed to pet a working dog.”  A little boy chimes in, “What’s a service dog?” [End of Scenario One]

Scenario Two

Another day, another store, I’m walking out of Costco in San Luis Obispo, California (aka SLO). A guide dog is positioned to enter through the big doors, but the dog’s teammate is hidden by a middle-aged woman.  Said woman is vigorously petting the service dog on the head as she yaks a mile a minute to the man about how much she loves dogs and “needs” to touch them. The man with the visual impairment is obstructed from moving forward by the friendly curiosity of this woman. [End of Scenario Two]        

Service dog etiquette seems to be a fuzzy or even nonexistent notion to the general public, if you ask me. (And boy, do you ask and ask and ask me!) How much do you think you know? Can you answer these questions about the two scenarios above?

1. Which scenario(s) depict(s) people breaking the rules of service dog etiquette?
2. Which one(s) depict(s) people breaking the law?
3. Which scenario(s) depict(s) people potentially breaking the law?
4. Which laws, if any, would these be—state or federal?
5. Which scenario(s) depict(s) people reacting appropriately to a service dog team?
6. How many questions can we, the general public, ask a service dog team?
7. Can we at least ask to pet a service dog?

     Yeah—I thought so. These are tough questions. Most people cannot answer all of them. Many do not know what is or is not appropriate behavior when confronted with a service dog team. Truthfully, I myself did not know many of them until I talked to trainers and/or researched them, or got annoyed enough after long days out with Raphael.

            First, let us answer the question posed by the boy in Scenario One. (He and the little girl in Scenario One answer Question #5. Their behavior is appropriate.)

What is a service animal? 

A service animal is a dog which has been trained to perform tasks for its disabled handler so that he or she can function or navigate the world more easily. The ADA, or Americans with Disabilities Act was enacted in 1990. This federal law guarantees equal rights to the disabled in matters of housing, employment, transportation and public building access. The ADA defines a service animal as, “a dog that has been individually trained to do work or perform tasks for an individual with a disability.” These are the newest guidelines, revised in March 2011. Now only dogs can be service animals (or in rare instances miniature horses). So, “service dog” is now interchangeable with “service animal.”

            Legally, a service dog is not a “pet”—it is not even a dog! A service dog is classified as a necessary medical equipment in service to the disabled handler.

            In reality, a service dog is still a dog, though a highly specialized and well-trained one. He or she is not a fancy robot, not a toy. Service dogs get tired and cranky too, and have “off” days. Sometimes they flub up or forget aspects of their training. A service dog must concentrate very hard to get tasks done for its handler in the midst of chaos, like in crowded stores. Breaking that concentration by distracting the service dog is not only unkind but also potentially dangerous to the handler.

The Service Dog Team

The person with the disability, called the handler, and the dog together make up the service dog team, but it is the handler who is in charge—or top dog, if you will. It is not the service dog’s right but the handler’s right to go anywhere people are allowed with the service dog.


                                                  

Types of Service Dogs

Whereas in the past only guide dogs for the blind/visually impaired were recognized, now there are as many types of service dogs as    disabilities served: hearing or signal dogs, medical alert dogs (including diabetic and seizure alert dogs), mobility dogs (including walker or balance dogs like Raphael), peanut-sniffing dogs for people with severe allergies.

There are service dogs trained to help people with arthritis in their hands, and others who remind people to take their medication. Psychiatric service dogs help many cope with their illness. Service dogs for autistic children have been much in the news lately, and there are many documented cases of near-miraculous turn-arounds with these children. For other persons, however, a revision to the ADA in March 2011 removed “emotional support” dogs (dogs that are not trained but serve to make the person feel better about being in public)  from the official service dog list, so they are no longer protected by law or allowed access.

The list is very long and here is just a sampling. But you can see from this list that many, many disabilities are what’s referred to as “invisible” disabilities.

            These invisible disabilities come into play with our lessons in etiquette, which start here. Question 1 was, Which scenario(s) depict people breaking the laws of service dog etiquette? Both. In fact, both portray egregious lapses of service dog etiquette. (Question 1)

Recognizing and Reacting to a Service Dog Team

            First, how will I recognize a service dog team? The obvious tip-off is that a dog in a food store, restaurant, church, theater or any public place which normally doesn’t allow dogs or “pets” is a service dog.  This is not quantum physics. The dog may or may not be vested or harnessed. It doesn’t matter. That dog is a service dog. As for people sneaking a pet in, it happens occasionally. There are ways to deal with this, which we’ll see later.  But 99% of the time you must assume it’s a service dog.

Rule-of-Three (No ‘Puttin On the Dog’)

The first and greatest service dog etiquette lesson is simple, short and sweet:  When you encounter any service dog team, do one-two-three: smile, keep quiet and be on your way. 

Now there are exceptions to this, but the above rule-of-three should apply 95% of the time. For one, you may have noticed that no one in Scenario 1 asked me, “May I help you with those bins?” “You seem to be struggling with those; do you need some assistance?” “Let me find a clerk for you.” Comments like these would have been welcome!

Instead, that crowd turned me into a human kiosk in service to them and their idle curiosity by forcing me to answer questions about my service dog while he was working for me. This is not appropriate interaction.

Suppose I were a deaf person accompanied by a sign language interpreter, and I was having a conversation with a clerk or taxi driver or priest or whomever. Would you barge up, ignore me, grab my interpreter and ask that interpreter dozens of questions about where she was born, trained, where she gets her hair done and how much she charges per hour? Above all, would you get huffy and upset when I begged you to please not bother her while she is working?

 The Handler is Not an Automated Information Booth

This has actually happened to me regarding Raphael, whom I guess I should have named Elvis, considering what an attention-magnet he is. It is not uncommon that individuals become incensed when I dare to interrupt their barrage of 157 dog questions with, “Just a second. Let me finish paying for my groceries on the credit card machine.” (You know how confusing those machines get!) But no. No time outs for me, the human kiosk. They glare at me sanctimoniously as if I’m the rude one.

One time I was literally choking in a restaurant. A tall, muscular man walks up and demands to know all about the dog (Elvis. Shucks. Name opportunity missed.)  All I could sputter were gasping gagging noises. He persisted, as if I was merely an animated cartoon character turning from beige to red to blue. When I finally could spit out, “I’m choking!”—seemed like a reasonable and obvious excuse to me—his face reddened and I thought he was going to punch me. But luckily he turned on his heel and stormed off.

I can’t wait for the day when I hear, “Do you mind if I keep my mouth shut and move right along, quietly minding my own business?” I will blow kisses at that person.  

Interfering with a Service Dog is a Crime

If I am snarling here, forgive me but I am looking out for my dog, for me and for you. Because those people in the above scenarios did not know it, but in most states, interfering with the duties of a service dog is a crime.

            Truthfully, the likelihood of your ever being arrested or fined for “friendly interference” with a service dog is almost nil. Most state laws specify that the interference has to be deliberate or malicious. However, even “friendly interference” is an extremely rude and disrespectful breach of service dog etiquette.  (Questions 3 & 4)           

The exceptions, in almost all states, are that criminal interference takes place (1) if that service dog is a seeing eye or guide dog for the blind; or (2) if the dog or handler is injured or killed during your interference. In either case, you are in deep doo-doo.  The woman in Scenario Two is breaking the letter, if not the spirit, of California State law. (Question 2)

California Penal Code Section 365.6 [January 1, 1994]: (a) any person who, with no legal justification, intentionally interferes with the use of a guide dog by obstructing or intimidating the guide dog user or his or her guide dog, is guilty of a misdemeanor punishable by imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding six months, or by a fine of not less than $1,500 not more than $2500, or both.

However, if either Raphael or I or the guide dog team had sustained any injuries due to the interference, someone could have conceivably been charged with a very serious crime:

California Penal Code Section 600.5   (a) Any person who intentionally causes injury to or the death of any guide, signal or service dog […] while the dog is in discharge of its duties, is guilty of a misdemeanor, punishable by imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding one year, or by a fine not exceeding $5,000 or both a fine and imprisonment. (b) In any case in which the defendant is convicted of a violation of this section, the defendant shall be ordered to make restitution to the disabled person who has custody or ownership of the dog for any veterinary bills and replacement costs of the dog if it is disabled or killed.

How Not to React When You See a Service Dog Team

So, now let’s get back to your being so thrilled to see the service dog team that you feel compelled to talk to the handler and ask to touch the dog.

This simple list of “don’ts” will help you if you forget the rule-of-three (Question 8, your pop quiz: What is that rule-of-three again?).

1.                            Please don’t engage us in any conversation or interrogation. Shocking as this may sound, we did not come to the grocery store to have a conversation with you!  We came to buy our bread and milk bones. We want to get in and out safely and quickly. Just smile or nod if you care to, or ignore if you please to, then go about your business.

2.                            Please do NOT approach us unless we give you a wide-open invitation. Or unless you see something really wrong like the leash entangled around the dog’s paws or broken glass on the ground. Even then, please introduce yourself and your intentions so we know you are up to and give you our permission.

3.                            Do not touch, pet, call, or whistle at the service dog, or even try to. BIG no-no. This applies no matter how cute, gorgeous, fluffy or adorable the dog is. This applies even if the service dog looks at you. That may be part of her job, to scan the space for her person. The dog is not there for your entertainment. The dog is there to assist the handler.

4.                            Never, ever tease or give commands to a service dog. It is not your place to tell my working dog to “come” to you! Conversely, please don’t interrupt when the handler is giving her dog a command. These are abusive acts which totally confuse the dog and upset the handler. Please educate your children on these points too, for many children do not understand that this is misbehaving. Most of us teams are very compassionate with small children, but pushy or impolite adults have no excuses.

5.                            If we are waiting on a line together or otherwise caught in the same space more than a few seconds, please do not give into your urge to stare at my service dog. In dog-language, staring is often a threat, not a compliment. A dog could eventually start a low growl to warn a handler of this threat, and the dog would be justified.

6.                            How many questions should I ask a handler? Now you know that, with a few exceptions, there are four answers to this: None, zero, zip, and nada. No questions please! ADA law guarantees my right never to discuss my disability(ies) with you. So don’t ask, “Is this a guide dog?” or “What kind of service dog is he?” Remember, many, many disabilities are invisible. And don’t ask about the dog, her breed, where she was trained, and so on. If you are truly passionate about knowing something about my dog, the best was is to say “excuse me” and hand me a note with your questions and contact information on it. Several people who knew their etiquette have approached  us like this; as a consequence, I have been delighted to spend time talking on the phone or emailing them info about my dog and service dogs in general.

7.                            Okay, YES. There are some exceptions. Two of them we discussed already, an offer to help or an instance of imminent danger. Also, if the handler is not in a hurry, or if the team is sitting, waiting or at rest—such that the dog is not actively guiding or aiding the handler, the handler may invite interaction. Somehow, the handler will indicate he or she is approachable and is inviting you to conversation. Socializing via the service dog actually has a salutary effect on many disabled people who can be or feel very isolated by their disability.

Attention Overload

Also, in a similar “at rest” situation, if the handler seems open to it, you can certainly ask to pet a service dog. However, you should not raise your hand in expectation, and you should graciously accept no as an answer. You may be the fifteenth person who has asked in the last hour, and we are overwhelmed by all the attention.

Really, how would you like it if I asked you to hand over your cane or crutch so I could see how it “feels”?  Or, how about if I asked you why you need your custom wheelchair, and could I take it around the store for a spin because I love moving objects?

Fake Service Dog Teams

Earlier I mentioned those cases where a person with or without a documented disability tries to pass off a pet as a service dog. This happens, and apparently, this abuse is on the rise. ADA law is very broad to protect the rights of the disabled. And, unfortunately, anyone can buy a vest or “certification” on the Internet or elsewhere, or even connive to get a county license. This issue will be dealt more thoroughly in Service Dog Savvy Part 2 since service dog team impersonators can only be dealt with by the business or organization’s owner/leader/manager, not by shoppers or clients. But frankly, this potential problem is most volatile, and must be dealt with delicately.

However, there is one thing we the public can do, and only one thing, if we think we are encountering an illegitimate service dog: If you are an eye witness to the dog’s misbehavior—such as the dog urinates, poops, growls menacingly, destroys merchandise, snaps at someone, or bites you or someone else; or you see any behavior you think may be out of control—you may report it to the manager. Then the manager will have to take over. But please do not report your suspicions. Only report what you have actually witnessed. Team impersonation is a crime, but being wrong about it is a worse crime.

Making Your Intentions and Behavior Match Up

Above all, please don’t take our failure to acknowledge you personally. If we do ignore you, it is because we are working and concentrating, not socializing. This is hard for Raphael and me because we are both very friendly creatures, as are our neighbors. I am very proud to live in San Luis Obispo County, California, the place Oprah Winfrey described as the “happiest city in America.” Oprah was actually referring to the city of San Luis Obispo. Yet what goes for the city, pretty much goes for the county. The happy people here are both dog and people friendly—to a wonderful degree. So I know that the majority of these daily infractions of etiquette are well-intentioned, and done in a kindly spirit.

However, there is a fine line between “friendly” and over-bearing. Those of us who are blessed enough to have service dogs are terribly proud of them. At one level, we appreciate your attentions and intentions.

On another level, though, we may have had a long, tiring, frustrating day. Just like you on those days, physically and mentally we begin to decline in our ability to withstand extra stress. We may be teetering on a meltdown. Perhaps you are making us late for our anger management class! (Heh, heh. Once or twice I almost said this, half-jokingly. But like most SLO County citizens, I’m too polite).

 Don’t let any of your new education scare or discourage you. Let common courtesy, circumstance and timing be your guides. We really would love you to keep smiling at us!

But as to your idle curiosity, please wait till Elvis and I have left the building.

The End

References

1.  www.ada.gov  Every aspect of the federal law covered. Look under “Articles” on the Home Page for “Common Questions Regarding Service Dogs.”

2.  www.thedeltasociety.org    Probably the most comprehensive site on service dogs that exists.

3. www.petjoyonline.com/Articles.asp?ID=134 “Individual State Laws Regarding Service Dogs”   For those residing in the other 49 states, you will want to see how your state’s laws stack up.

Retirement Employment Application

Retirement Employment Application

Name__________________    Date ______________

Address___________________________________

Email_______  Twitter_______  Fritter ______ Facebook______

Facelift_____    Website______    Eyesight __________

What job title(s) are you seeking to avoid?

Talk a little about your career goals. Specifically tell us how you plan to drive your spouse insane.

Tell us a little about your education, e.g., in what century did you graduate from high school? List the colleges and universities you have been kicked out of without earning anything except opprobrium.

What kinds of skills can you bring to this job?

            Are you proficient with pruners? How about prunes?

Can you type and rock in your chair at the same time?

(How many words per beat?)

Are you up with the times concerning grandchildren’s rights? Spoiling is the only action allowed for the holy terrors. Discipline is now banned.  

If necessary, can you fill us in on Judge Judy’s latest verdicts?

Employment History. On the back of this sheet, please list your former employers and the institutions they now reside in. If they have phone privileges, please include those. We would like to ask them questions such as, did you ever show up to work on time, even once? Were there any witnesses who could attest to the fact that you actually did any work there?

Flexibility. If we hire you, we want to know about your on-the-job flexibility:

Would you be willing to be on this job weekends and holidays?

Will you be willing to share the remote control once a month for half an hour?

Are 360 unpaid holidays sufficient for to fuel your inertia?

(Five flex days are reserved for the mother-in-law’s plans)

Would you be willing to relocate? 

If so, list the RV and trailer parks that have not yet banned you.

Background Check. Anyone who qualifies for this job must undergo a background check. Answer these questions and your willingness to participate in our program.

Have you ever been convicted of actually working on any job? If so, what were the circumstances (e.g., my boss was standing over my shoulder with dismissal papers and a dismal dirty look at me, etc.).

If we fingerprint you, will the results come up under “species unknown”?

Again, can we contact your former employers and discreetly ask them what kinds of psychiatric evaluations they had to go through after your tenure as their employee? About their meds?

Drug and Alcohol Testing is mandatory for this position. If hired, we will take you to Harry’s Bar in downtown Pismo Beach. There you will be asked to evaluate the air for signs of marijuana and other types of smoke. In addition, we will test your ability to hold your alcohol over 8 hours with a minimum of 2 drinks per hour with wild dancing in between. Your final test will be to remain standing while calling a taxi, and making up three good excuses for your disgusting behavior to your spouse.

Finally, we want to know if YOU CAN PASS OUR vision TEST.

If there are any other reasons you feel you qualify for our position as a retiree, which is mainly a supine position, add anything you would like below.

In honor of Ralph Sutter

Healing by Maria V. Eyles

I have bronchitis.

Went up to the Med Stop in San Luis, my urgent care place of choice since my PCP, Dr. B., doesn’t want to see sick people. Heh, heh! Yeah, that’s a fact!

Well, he has good reason I guess; as an internist and gerontologist*, Dr. B. wants to deal only with the Big Stuff, and not infect his oldsters with my childish germs. [*Okay. No snide remarks. I’m (or was) one of his few younger patients, taken in as a favor to a dying Geoffrey. But he does see some younger folk like his musician friends.]

Anyway, at Med Stop I was lucky enough to get Dr. Scheid. She’s around my age and adores Raphael. I like her a lot. In fact, I got FIVE visitors before she walked in. I said, “Hi Doctor!” to each one, and they all sheepishly countered, “Oh, I’m not a doctor. I just heard Raphael was here! Can I pet him?”

Kid you not.

Anyway, Dr. Scheid treated me on condition she could take Raffy home with her. She did a good job but I had hide in the bathroom to get a clean getaway. LOL, now just kidding.

I'm doing better after the antibiotics and codeine formula--the stabbing knife pains in my chest are much diminished and the fiery throat is less red. This has been a bad one on the throat/voice, sinus and chest. Truly I believe it is the exact same thing that I "had" in December and again all through February, thus my capitulation to get the meds so it will GO AWAY.

Does anyone know if bronchitis is contagious?

Anyway, I'm good, just tired and drained. Working on my articles. So far TWO agencies and a dozen individuals have asked me for my service dog article, so I’m working hard on getting it out. It's pretty complex so I have divided it into two parts, one for the general public (Joe/Joanne Public)and one for business and agency operators.

Raffy is curled up under my feet under computer desk. He still seems to be doing okay. Time will tell with him. I am just grateful for everyday he's well.

Neither he nor I feel like going out much today because the Santa Ana winds (or some hot winds) are blowing. But last evening, Raffy and I had a wonderful walk on the beach. Though I was as if steamrolled, somehow I conjured up some energy from thin air. We walked long and watched the sunset together sitting on a boardwalk bench.

Last night's sunset was bridal in character: A bright organdy mist veiled itself over the Avila promontory. The sun, still silvery-yellow, dropped slowly and voluptuously onto the sea bed, while the moon behind us appeared as the best man watching the couple leave the cathedral for a mysterious honeymoon beyond the horizon.

Stay wonderful!

 

Dogma in Distress

Mind Combings 4/28/11

Dogma in Distress

            Nothing like turning on your computer to make your problems and dilemmas shrink down to lint pickings. Today’s headlines show the collision of staggering grief and fairytale wonderment: the killer tornadoes rampaging through the plains and southern states versus the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

            I wonder if the obsession with the wedding serves as an emotional safety valve for us media-weary people who have to process the Mass Tragedy du Jour all too many jours in a row. No, I personally am not obsessed with the wedding—I may forget to even watch it—but I will make the attempt, as history will be in the making.

            So turning the giant spotlight into a hearth candle, our personal joys and worries are still here to greet us as we detach ourselves from screens. Mine’s name today again is Raphael.

Maybe I should have named this dog “Enigma.” Yesterday his new veterinary internist (in Atascasdero) listened with her head leaning over her shoulder gazing down at Raphael. I recounted how Raphael had just not snapped out of his trough for the past ten-twelve days, how no therapy seemed to be doing much except in the symptomatic short term.

“So, shall we do it?” She verbally threw up her hands. “Shall we pull him off all of his meds and see what happens? Because I agree with you, Maria. With nine or ten different meds going into him every day, probably none of them is working.

“That is my working theory, unfortunately,” I nodded.                                

“You could leave him here (at their 24-hour hospital). It’d be better. We can observe him closely, and then I will be able to determine which drugs he really needs.”

“Agreed. But not today. How about Monday, when you are in four days straight?”

“Bring him here Sunday night. You can have him back Thursday afternoon.”

            Since then, I have felt an emptiness, like a huge vacuum sucked out my innards, leaving only my battered heart. But I am determined to do this. The price is excellent and the results will tell me a lot more than using that poor dog as a hazardous drug-dumping receptacle. It may give him a better shot at a higher quality of life. Good enough for me.

            So after many self-inflicted maternal guilt trips, I have also decided to spend Monday through Thursday morning in the Bay Area.  I vow to enjoy myself with my beloved Bay Area friends. But as national and world news unfurls, I will be nursing my own little private bubble world, alternately cheering it on and praying it doesn’t burst.    

The Wizard of OPS

 from the virtual pen of Maria V. Eyles

        “When I first started working for OPTIONS,” recalls job developer Yvonne Barabas, “I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I was trying to place my first client in a company in San Luis Obispo, and the CEO and a whole roster of VIPs had gathered to hear me out. Tiptoeing down the long hallway toward the CEO’s office, I felt lost and apprehensive. Then it dawned on me: The CEO is just a little man behind a curtain! He’s human too—just like me, the tin man and the cowardly lion. He has his own flaws, his own strengths.” 

        Inner strengths are what Barabas endeavors to draw out of job-seekers despite seeming obstacles such as physical or cognitive disabilities. Her employer, OPTIONS Family of Services, headquartered in Morro Bay, California, is a non-profit organization which provides positive choices for people with disabilities. Disabilities are often seen as significant barriers to employment, Barabas says. So as Job Developer for OPTIONS, Barabas’ role is to not only advocate for her clients as desirable employees, but also to educate both them and potential employers that these disabilities only present initial barriers, not closed doors.   

         

         Barabas sweeps back her long brown hair and smiles warmly, speaking professionally but from the heart. “At OPTIONS we serve people from a wide range of diversity, from those with cognitive and neurological disabilities to visually and hearing impaired persons.”

        Her face becomes animated. “Oh, are you surprised I used the word ‘diversity’? Usually when people hear ‘diversity’ they think of ethnic diversity—and we have that too. Yet it is interesting to see how many employers don’t view those with different disabilities as part of the diverse population. My job is to educate them.”

       

        Some of  Barabas’ clients at OPTIONS were disabled from birth or youth, but often clients enjoyed many years of normal, active living until some accident or trauma left them physically or cognitively impaired. People of all kinds, including CEOs with master’s degrees. “Suddenly their lives are unrecognizable. And they find themselves unemployed, completely unable to do what they did yesterday.”   Yvonne Barabas’ gaze drops to her hands. “This job certainly puts things in perspective. Everyone is fighting a hard battle.”

       

        Almost instantly the passionate fire rekindles her smile. “What I love about my work is that it forces me to be constantly creative. There is no set program. I work personally with each client on a   case-by-case basis. OPTIONS goes far beyond organizational bureaucracy: We believe that compassion and vocational success cannot be ‘canned’.”

        “Earning my clients’ trust takes enormous creativity. I need to figure out where the client is now and use that key information for understanding them now. Often, for example, they are in deep grief over their physical loss, so the first thing I must do is walk through the grieving process with them, at their pace. Then I need to get very creative. First I find out everything I can about their background including their medical history. What is her passion? What motivates him? Why does this client decide to get up each morning? Communication is the key to all this.”

        Barabas admits that even being able to communicate with people with certain disabilities can be a daunting project of its own. 

        A number of years ago she served a young man whom a car accident left paralyzed from the neck down. Unable to speak, he could only touch his head to a pad on the side of his wheelchair’s headrest, which would activate a computer screen. Painstakingly he would then visually choose letters from the alphabet, and by tapping his head, he could spell words—one letter at a time. Eventually Barabas learned that this young man’s passions were motorcycles, music and computers.

        “Something clicked with me and I contacted an employer in north county. We spoke about my person served and the employer invited him to an interview. The employer was astounded by my clients’ extensive knowledge. At the end of the hour, the office staff was hanging on every word coming from that computer screen.”

        Then Barabas had another client with a different set of problems, a female in her late forties who bounced in and out of jail. Discouragement had her down. But Barabas saw something in this client which provided a ray of hope.  “She really needed a life make-over—so I worked with her and helped her achieve one.”  Patience and optimism won out again for Barabas. The client has been responsibly employed for some months. But there is more. “This person served recently called us at OPTIONS bubbling over, ‘This is the first time my kids have actually called me Mom!’”

        Barabas’ talents have allowed OPTIONS to place clients in all kinds of jobs around San Luis Obispo (SLO) and Santa Barbara Counties—in retail, hospitality, business offices, nurseries, farms, medical establishments, warehouses, and in transportation. OPTIONS was responsible for an impressive 5.3% of all placements for the developmentally disabled population in the State of California between July 2006 and June 2008.

        “If I could speak to every employer in SLO County, I would first tell them that hiring through us is virtually the same as the usual ways of hiring people. I send them well-qualified individuals with all the supports they could need. And we already know their backgrounds in depth, unlike people who walk in off the street.”

        “Then I would pick up my megaphone and tell them how our clients can be huge assets to their workplace or company. Our clients possess uncanny diligence, patience and a strong desire to succeed. In fact, they change the whole workplace dynamics in a positive way. For example, just by quietly showing up every day and on time and working diligently, they grab the attention of the other employees. They see that our workers have many more challenges to just get up out of bed in the morning—but, on the other hand, they do not complain. They may have to ride on a bus for hours to get there, but they walk in with a smile. Our clients are so happy and grateful to work and be productive.”

        Barabas sits very straight, speaking clearly and charmingly yet confidently. Surely she could convince anyone of almost anything without megaphones, curtains, or tricks. “Furthermore, there are other benefits and incentives for our local employers. In many cases, we provide on–the-job-training (OJT) for our placed clients. Not only does this save the employer time and money, but while on OJT, a percentage of the client’s wages will be supplemented.”

        In addition, employers of OPTIONS clients receive tax incentives, the 8850 tax credit which is in place for those who hire the disabled, veterans and other special populations.  Yet the best part is that OPTIONS will provide a job coach for the new employee if he or she needs help adapting to the work environment and vice versa. This covers cultural as well as physical issues. 

        For example, perhaps the boss is frustrated with a hearing impaired employee because the employee does not seem to comprehend or hear him. Yet maybe the solution is that the employer is not making sure she is facing the worker so that the employee can read her lips. “Since the hearing impaired world is a culture unto itself, we consider this a cultural difference. But no matter—all the supports are in place for both our clients and their employers to the degree needed, if any. How many other job seekers have that? Everything is geared to have this worker succeed.”

        Yvonne Barabas’ own success is not something she takes for granted. To be an effective job developer in today’s economy, between the high unemployment rate and the State of California’s shortfall, is that much more difficult.

        “I consider myself very fortunate to be employed, especially at such an amazing organization as OPTIONS. And here I am trying to get people off subsidized incomes, yet the job market is so tight. The truth be told, no person served at OPTIONS wants to remain on government assistance. Their motivation to work is great. They want to contribute their talents, to be productive—to have purpose. They want the same things I want. The same things you want.”

        In order to do her job well, Yvonne Barabas practically lives in her car. “But we live in such a beautiful area that I don’t mind.  Certainly there are times when the stress and pressure get to me. But I rely on my faith, the invaluable things my clients teach me, and the wonderful people I work with.”

        Barabas allows herself a giggle. “No, certainly I am not the Wizard of OPS! Together we all make a fabulous team—no one of us sticks out.”

       

        Then Barabas is handed a description of Dorothy Gale found on the Answers.com website: “[Dorothy] is brave, smart, compassionate, selfless, and encouraging to other members of the traveling party.”

       

        Yvonne Barabas hands it back, laughing. “Oh, I don’t even own a pair of red shoes!”

        Maybe Ms. Barabas needs to go home and re-check her wardrobe closet.

________________________________________________________

OPTIONS Family of Services is celebrating its 25^th anniversary this month. To learn more about what they are doing right, please contact Erin at 805-772-6066, ext. 100 or visit their website at www.optionsfs.org

Maria V. Eyles aka Maria C. Vidale, The Wizard of OPS, Copyright  2009                                            
The Polished Page, Writing and Editing Services

The Virtual Pen, Blog:  http://mariaveyles.blogspot.com/

A Reverse Account

From The Virtual Pen of Maria V. Eyles

          Financial tools are helpful in not only aiding us to understand our relationship to money, but also our relationship to ourselves in the world. You’ve heard of the “reverse mortgage,” a financial tool that allows many seniors to stay in their homes mortgage-free. Undoubtedly this lessens their fear of being old and helpless in a volatile world economy. Well, I’ve perfected a tool called the Reverse Savings Account. A reverse savings account can bring you lowered anxiety and increased confidence  in your understanding of exactly how the world economy works in a way very personal to you.

          A reverse savings is free and readily available to almost everyone!
But first you will need a few preliminaries: a limited income; a dwindling savings account; and some dire or impending emergency expense such as major car repairs, expensive medical treatments or dental work, or perhaps an explosion of broken appliances.

          In addition to these, there are two other important elements needed to achieve a true reverse savings. The first is a source of chronic economic drainage. Though I am sure many examples have already flooded your mind, I will throw out a brief list: a child anywhere from ages 1 day to 45 years old; a jalopy; several pets from the rescue center; a freeloading relative; a friend who constantly borrows.

Besides these siphons of savings, the element of surprise is mandatory. Surprise elements such as unexpected lay-offs; notice to vacate; a 300% jump in tuition, rent or HOA dues; or one of my favorites—a lapsed insurance policy, or its equivalent, The Fine Print,—all these guide you quickly to your goal of a reverse savings account. 

Now let me explain exactly how the reverse savings works using a true example from my own past two weeks. First, I learn that I need a crown on my molar. If I wait much longer, there will be the added bonus of a root canal. The crown requires a down payment of $600. So I decide, over the course of three sleepless nights in which I dream of my teeth falling out in a homeless shelter, to bilk $300 from my IRA and to extract the other $300 from my checking account.

Note carefully that this act of pulling out and setting aside money for a Special Purpose will inevitably trigger a deluge of unexpected expenses and bills—the drainage and surprise elements we talked about—often within hours. This sets the reverse savings laws of physics in motion. For I blundered upon this little known law that parallels the adage, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” It is “The World abhors an excess.” Lo, now you are armed with the scientific theory behind the reverse savings.

So we collected the $600 on the Friday before the Monday dental appointment. Second step: On Sunday night my big toe swells up, turns red and throbs angrily. Therefore, we do-si-do our dentist with our podiatrist, even though it hurts to dance, and on Monday morning, the podiatrist numbs then cuts out my ingrown toenail. Yes, you may have noticed that a side feature of the reverse savings account is a psychic portent that somebody or other is going to stick one or the other end of your body with lidocaine on a Monday morning, no matter what.

Notice that the accidental switcheroo means that the $600 is sitting idly around my checkbook doing nothing. Although it is earmarked for the dentist, it is not actually inside his safe with the daily revenue. No, it is sitting nonchalantly in my account as an excess, the perfect situation for the reverse savings to kick in!

         Because I am lucky enough to have good health insurance, the podiatrist’s visit did not count as a legal reverse account transaction (or R.A.T.). Yet in only hours, the specter of another huge expense arose when my beloved dog, a blue shepadoodle named Raphael, went into a crisis with his chronic immune system ailment. The four-year-old Raphael had been doing fine for almost two months, but this afternoon my skies turned gray-blue, as I rushed my boy up to the veterinary hospital in Atascadero. I had no time to think about the reverse account until it was checkout time.

Imagine my disappointment when the vet’s office visit was compassionately reduced to a mere follow-up, a piffling $29. Hardly enough for the reverse savings to set off. But aha! The treatments and take-home meds came to just under $270! Do you, too, see the pattern here? Hallelujah, three hundred dollars!  Halfway home. (Or homeless.)

The next day brought better health to Raphael, and hassles with the plumber and under-sink leak ($55) and the new dishwasher installation guy (prepaid, sigh!). These latter are still fighting each other, and the boxed dishwasher is still sitting in my office under the office window leak, which adds the thrill of my homeowner’s association involvement to the mix. This ensures me a daily parade of workmen in my condo to keep things entertaining for Raphael. No wonder the guy is sick to his stomach. 

“Mmm,” I mused over my doggie blanket laundry, “I still have $245 left in my checking from the $600 for the dental work. To achieve a true reverse savings, I need another person or source to pillage $250 more from me since technically, you want to go at least five dollars over the original amount. I wonder what…? Oh! That’s it!”

“It” was some kind of sticky liquid seeping over my newly unbandaged ingrown toenail. My excitement grew as I saw “it” was originating from under the clothes washer. Could it be? Could it be…?

Reader, it was motor oil! Gobs of it. Can you believe my luck? A dying washing machine! Whew, right on time, too, and you betcha, it could cost well over $300 to replace.” Wow! I'd better run out and buy a lotto ticket! I speculated cunningly.

Not believing my good fortune, I ran to check out my Home Warranty protection program. Ha! There it was in The Fine Print: “Neither the washer nor dryer are covered in your premium policy.”  Silly me, getting paranoid like that for no reason.

          From this moment, the oiled gears of the reverse savings account zoomed off. Look at how simple the accounting is on a reverse savings! A brand new GE washer from Best Buy ($289), plus sales tax ($50), plus installation and haul-away fees ($69). The only reason I did not jump on the Best Buy extended warranty was that two of Raphael’s four pharmacists called on the cell phone while I was speaking to the Best Buy stereo guy (eh--stereos, washers, vacuums, what’s the difference…) announcing the completion of two of his medications: one at $50, and one at $65. Add this to the $300 vet bill, and my total reverse savings account total was minus $799. All this for very little time or work invested on my part.

         

My goal completed, I  finally staggered into my bathroom. Such relief! Only, when I get up, the toilet seat slides right off the bowl and clanks onto the floor. Dumbly, I pick it up and stash it in the back seat of my car.

On my way to Home Depot, Lester at the gas station is eyeing me strangely. “Hey, lady!" He points the gas nozzle at my face. "Uh, I don’t think that porta-potty is going to work very well there in your back seat. You gotta put something under it, connect it to something.”

I smile smugly. “Little do you know, Lester!”

Lester doesn’t know what you now know, which are the advantages of a reverse savings account: Your confidence in evaluating any financial move or non-move is bolstered by the Excess Law, and you can accurately predict the red side of your ledger from now on. Your anxiety is replaced by the peace of knowing that a Reverse Savings Account stems not from lack of planning, but from A Reverse Savings Economy (ARSE), and toilet seat or no toilet seat, you will always have your ARSE to fall back on.

A Reverse Account by Maria V. Eyles

Copyright March 2011

All Rights Reserved